just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
