I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My ATM looks so different sober.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
