dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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