I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
