your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
