The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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