I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
