She said her name was "party"
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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