NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
