Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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