if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
