New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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