I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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