we should wear snuggies to the strip club
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
