im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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