Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
