hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
