Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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