Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
no, he came in my armpit
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize