just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
