Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
