bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Boobs speak an international language.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
