I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
