thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
