i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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