just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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