new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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