beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
