Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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