Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I came so hard my ears popped.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
