note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
