dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
