She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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