How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
