doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
