I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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