u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
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i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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