she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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