Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
