I hate all girls vehemently.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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