That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you would pick up someone in the library
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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