But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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