i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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