Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize