i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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