You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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