did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
and she was petting her beer can
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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