Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i came on her dog
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
