He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
just found out that she named her cat after me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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