We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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