I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize