i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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