I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You left your phone here
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