Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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