So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
honey bunches of taint.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
