I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
