so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
