Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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