ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
