considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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