I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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