Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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