Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize